Happy February, folks! The hotel is chugging along as it always does and nothing really seems that out of the ordinary, actually. Mr Bennet is at the front desk as per usual, greeting new guests, checking out old ones, generally being mediocre at his job but there's something a little... off about him this morning. A little more Springtime focused. Is it the suit? No, no, that's the same as it always is. Is it the face? No, Mr Bennet's face is unable to be perceived by eyes as per usual. No, it's the —
The bunny ears?
HOP TO IT
It seems Mr Bennet has developed a pair of bunny ears and a tail overnight, but he's not the only one. Every staff member and guest of the hotel will find that they have grown a pair of animal ears and a matching tail when they wake up that morning. It's nekomimi time, y'all! But not just neko, characters will find themselves with all categories of ears and tails. Cats, dogs, rabbit, deer, fish. Whatever animal best suits the characters are what they'll find themselves sporting.
For all intents and purposes, these will be part of your characters bodies and real additional limbs. It will hurt if someone hurts them and they will bleed if someone cuts them. There will be some added bonuses as well as characters will also take on the traits of the animals they become. However players want to interpret this is up to them — it can be light like a cat person just being more aloof or heavy like a spider person having multiple eyes and limbs. Whatever is most fun for the player and most hectic for the character, of course.
This effect will last till the end of the month.
Of course, an additional note: For characters who already have animal ears and/or tails — they will either keep those ears and tails and develop more traits of that animal. Or they can become something entirely different for the month. Player preference!
ANIMAL CRACKERS
Mr Bennet has found this to be hysterical though so he has set up a stall in the main lounge that's advertising animal crackers. They're a little less cracker and more cookie though, and larger than the traditional animal cracker. They also come in all shapes and sizes. If you can think of the animal, you can have an animal cracker with it. There is a dog cracker. There is a whale cracker. There is a spider cracker. All kinds of things. Even fictional animals, like gryphons and dragons!
The only catch is — once your character eats the cracker they will become that animal entirely. This is probably tipped off by the bunny rabbit hopping around the lounge in a little hotel jacket, huh. Thanks Mr Bennet. The effect of these crackers will last as long as the player prefers and characters are free to eat another cracker and become another animal afterwards.
One thing though, as the animal, characters will still be able to speak in animal form. So there's that!
The animal crackers will also be available till the end of the month.
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hotelcaelum2024-02-02 08:06 am
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But once again, he realizes he's a coward as he sees Yuji's grief overtake him and realizes he did really, truly for a moment, want to run away from this. He didn't want to be the one to deal with these strong emotions, didn't want to have to console or figure out what to say when he'd already made his peace with dying in the moment of his death and moved on. Except did he? Since he still hasn't told Gojo the truth, still hasn't told him that he's dead and things in Shibuya were far worse than he lied about.
Hell, Yuji's reaction is all he needs to know that things aren't going as smoothly as he thought they might.
It's all a lot of thought that he tries to dismiss as Yuji collapses against his chest, sobbing. His hand comes up and curls against the back of his neck, fingers sliding into the hair at his nape as he cradles Yuji's head to his chest. His other arm goes around his shoulder and holds him carefully, broad palm sliding up and down over Yuji's back as he tries to soothe him. He's not the most caretaking individual, in his opinion, but he's not going to leave Yuji out to dry. ]
Don't speak. Just let it out. We can talk after.
[ It's been a few weeks since he arrived at the hotel and he has to admit, he was lulled into a false sense of security. Life as a sorcerer was over, life as Nanami Kento was over. He didn't need to worry about what was going on back home. Now, with Yuji in his arms, hearing him sob his heart out, Nanami knows he was being foolish. Immature. Irresponsible. He should have known better. ]
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Not because he doesn't want Nanami to be alive - there is no world where he wouldn't wish for that if wishes could come true, no world where he wouldn't trade his own life for Nanami's in a heartbeat if it was on offer - but because he knows what kind of pain this is going to cause. In Shibuya, he had made a promise, a vow of his own, that he would carry Nanami's share of suffering, carry the weight of his burdens, not let his own grief and hurt make him run away. He was going to refuse to be a coward.
All of that is being undone here, ruined in a moment of childish grief, stripping Yuji of any sensibility or rationality (not that he had a lot of that to spare either way).
The more hiccuping sobs that come out, the worse he feels rather than better. Nanami says let it out but it feels so painfully endless, a well of self-loathing and hurt that is running too deep, enough to rival the ocean itself. It reminds him of how he had fallen to pieces after Kugisaki had been taken from him too, that span of fifteen minutes where Sukuna, Nanami and Nobara had been a three punch hit, robbing him of any strength and leaving him wishing that he was dead.
Those kinds of thoughts don't just disappear; those feelings don't die out. Yuji has learned his place, and happiness didn't fit into that mould.
His hands lift to grip at Nanami's shirt as he cries himself out, to the point of exhaustion, his tail lump behind him and his ears pressed down against his head in misery. He's really not sure how long he stands there crying, but he's rational enough near the end, when his tears become less hiccuping sobs and more shaky, pained breathing, shivers running through him as he tries to find his voice. Even when he speaks, his throat feels sticky, cotton wool trapping his words away.
Yuji can't lift his head to look up, afraid of what he'll see, gripping at Nanami and shaking his head. ]
I'm sorry. It's all my fault, I - I didn't mean for things to be the way they were.
[ He's still crying, but the tears are rolling quietly now rather than sobs, all of his strength sapped from him as he leans into the comforting warmth in front of him instead. ]
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It gives him the time to beat himself up a bit for being so complacent, being so cowardly. He arrived to the hotel and just... let himself be. He was exhausted, sure, and he didn't want to confront reality just yet but he should've pushed more. Should've insisted Gojo return home — told him the truth about what happened to him. He failed Yuji by letting himself get wrapped up in the easy-going nature of the hotel and not being alert. He won't do that again.
When Yuji finally calms down enough to speak, Nanami watches him carefully. He won't look at Nanami, won't lift his head, and Nanami won't force him to but he doesn't pull his hands back. He just keeps holding onto Yuji and providing that safety for him, that comfort. His words are concerning though, the apology that he's giving leaving Nanami confused. How could any of this possibly be his fault? Please, don't tell him Yuji is blaming himself for his death.
Quietly, but firm, he asks that exact question. ]
What are you apologizing for?
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Under the weight of Nanami's gaze, the soft feeling of his hand in his hair, Yuji can feel his resolve breaking. He's so tired of this - of getting his hopes up, of doing everything that he can, of fighting with everything that he has, only for the worst to end up happening anyway. If he tells Nanami everything that happened, it's just going to upset the other man, just going to make things worse, and he can't deal with that. He can't cause more pain just because his heart hurts a little.
A lot, actually, but that's not the point.
Leaning into Nanami, still not looking up, Yuji knows he has to tell the truth, even if it comes out as a sad little mumble against the fabric of his now-damp shirt. He'll probably be a little bit embarrassed about that later, but for now... ]
Everything that happened... It's because of me. I keep making mistakes and people keep paying for it.
[ He sniffles, because the last thing he wants is to get snot on Nanami as well. This is already bad enough, isn't it? ]
I'm just... Sorry.
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Then there's what he says and Nanami has no idea what's happened after he died but clearly more, too much more has happened and ruined Yuji's soft spirit as a result. It makes a flicker of something like anger appear in Nanami's chest and he doesn't know where to direct it to. Just the thought that Yuji has been carrying this weight, has been so miserable without anyone there to take care of him...
Nanami sighs, quietly, and his voice is low and steady as he responds to Yuji's apology. ]
So, what happened in Shibuya is your fault now? Yours? All off the adults you know, all of your senpai, the way none of us could have predicted this happening, it's all on the shoulders of a single fifteen year old boy?
[ To him, it sounds ridiculous. Yuji is just one person, one boy, how could everything be his fault? How could any mistakes he may or may not have made leave the fate of the world at his feet? They, the whole of them, are up against Kenjaku and his plans. Not Yuji alone. He wants Yuji to realize that, to accept that. ]
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How is he not meant to blame himself, when the knowledge of his own failures burns so heavily on his shoulders and makes him feel so nauseated?
Nanami's sigh makes him tense immediately, as if he's done something wrong, as if he's going to be scolded for his thoughts, and he wants to duck away and hide instantly. The last thing that Yuji wants is for Nanami to be disappointed in him, or to see his upset - if he had to face that, he doesn't think he'd be able to take it. He's cried enough, does he have to do more?
He doesn't want Nanami to look at him and be disappointed. It makes him almost whimper, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head. ]
If I'd killed Mahito to begin with, then you and Kugisaki would be okay, Kenjaku would've had... It would've been okay... And I made the Vow...
[ It tumbles out as a soft, sad whisper, still not able to look at Nanami. He can't bear the possibility of something negative on the face of someone he respects so much and had missed so desperately. ]
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(Or is that him and his failings again — should he confront this head on or should he run away like a coward?)
He can only imagine what has happened. If he's being lumped in with Kugisaki, then she must be dead. He's not sure what Yuji means by Kenjaku, by the Vow but that too must have led him somewhere he didn't expect. He wonders how long it's been for Yuji since they last saw each other, what other horrors he must have gone through. Things truly must not have ended that night at Shibuya like Nanami thought.
Fuck. ]
By that logic, it's my fault for not killing Mahito when I first tracked him down all that time ago. Do you blame me for that, Itadori? Because if I did, then Yoshino-kun would still be alive.
[ Maybe it's harsh to bring up Junpei at a time like this but he can't let Yuji spiral, he can't let him pile on the sins as his own and take on this burden. Yuji has done nothing wrong, he has only survived. ]
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[ Yuji lifts his head - he doesn't completely recognise his own hypocrisy, his eyes flicking over Nanami's face. It dawns on him slowly, and he bites back the urge to pout. This isn't what Yuji meant, to make Nanami feel any kind of guilt, not when he had fought so hard, not when he had given everything to ensure they were all safe in Shibuya. What reason could he possibly have to blame himself for all the things that Yuji thinks are his own fault.
He finally looks at Nanami, and doesn't flinch away from his gaze. It's hard, when he's expecting anger, or disappointment, or something along those lines, but as ever... Nanami remains hard to read. Yuji doesn't know how to react to that, how he should be feeling, so he falls into his own sadness with a little shake of his head, closing his eyes and forcing himself to breathe in and out, trying to calm his racing heart.
How much should he tell Nanami? It's been so long, but now... What would be the point? He bites his tongue.
He can't hurt Nanami more than he already has. ]
... Mahito is dead now. He died. You don't have to worry about him.
[ Yuji wasn't the one to do it, for all that he had tried to, to get the vengeance he had wanted, but maybe that was for the best. Living for revenge wouldn't have done him any good. ]
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[ Nanami's expression remains decidedly neutral but it's in all honesty to cover up the raging emotion inside of him. He doesn't know what's all happened to Yuji since he died but he also can't help but wonder if it would've been different if he'd lived. If he could have been there to help Yuji, to mentor him, to take care of him. He needed someone and Nanami wasn't there for him and suddenly, a twist of guilt forms in Nanami's stomach.
He hasn't pulled his hands off of Yuji, still concerned that the boy might collapse under the weight of everything he's carrying. He doesn't know when Yuji will feel better, or if he will. But as long as he's crying, Nanami will take care of him. ]
Thank you.
[ He knew Mahito would die. Either by Yuji's hand or with help from the other sorcerer's. He didn't think Yuji would let him get away with killing Nanami and he's glad to be proven right.
Yuji seems to be calming down a bit now and Nanami moves his hand from Yuji's hair to cup his cheek, using his thumb to wipe away some of his tears gently. When his face is a little more clean, Nanami drops his hand to his shoulder and squeezes lightly. ]
Do you want to tell me what's happened since I died or would that upset you more?
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Yuji was his natural enemy, but Mahito had been right, too. Yuji was also him, a mirror image, in human form. A creature who kills curses because it's natural for him, reflected in Mahito killing people. A murderer. So many people are dead now because he made a single vow with Sukuna - as if his life was a fair trade for what was lost.
It feels so easy, so natural to lean his hand into Nanami's touch, to rest his cheek on his palm and bask in the comfort of being taken care of, however briefly. For the last few weeks it's been him and Fushiguro, and then him and the others, preparing for a fight that they had been so sure they'd win, never having a moment to relax or let his emotions settle inside him. Having it now feels wrong, somehow, as if he should be forced to marinade in his own self-doubt, let the disgust he feels for himself take hold.
Swallowing, he sighs softly. ]
I can't tell you yet, Nanamin. I'm sorry, I'm - I'm not ready.
[ To admit to more of his own failings, to see Nanami's disappointed expression... There's no way he can deal with that right now. No way. ]
Please don't ask me. I can't.
[ Maybe later, when he's settled in - maybe later, when he doesn't feel as though he should be turning back and letting Sukuna do whatever he wants, crushing Yuji's body under his heel if it meant there was a single second of a chance to save Fushiguro. ]
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So, Nanami does this: he hugs Yuji. Pulls him in close again and wraps his arms around him to hug him against his chest. His shirt is still a little damp from Yuji's tears but that's fine, he doesn't think it'll bother Yuji and it certainly doesn't bother him. Instead, he gives him the hug that he thinks Yuji might need.
His voice is quiet, steady, as he responds. ]
Take your time. Time at home doesn't pass while you're here. Think of it as a reprieve from whatever horrors you're grappling with right now. I want you to rest while you're here, Yuji.
[ A pause, he considers. ]
And if you're worried about me... I am still dead. I can't return back home. But I chose to come here before I pass on completely so I will be here for a while yet.
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No time at all, for so many bad things to have happened.
The hug is unexpected, physical affection a foreign friend to Yuji these days, but he wraps his own arms around the other man in return, sinking into his embrace with a soft, sad noise. He needs this, needed it more than he can express with words, and he shivers as he presses his face harder into Nanami's chest.
For the first time in weeks, he feels perfectly, completely safe. Nothing bad could happen to him while Nanami was here and holding on to him. ]
It doesn't... How do you...?
[ How do they know? How does that make sense? He shakes his head, waving it off - he doesn't care. It doesn't matter. What does matter is Nanami is here, and for the most part... He seems safe. ]
We... We can be here together? For a while?
[ He wants it. He wants it so badly. To have even an hour more with Nanamin... ]
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I checked when I arrived. I talked to some of the other residents who had left and came back. It's the standard for the hotel, time doesn't pass. It's just how it works here.
[ Of course there's an outlier like Sumina but Nanami doesn't think it'd be wise to let Yuji know that just yet. He doesn't want him to spiral on the low chance that their world might be one of the ones that time passes in as well.
And at the second part, Nanami nods, giving Yuji a squeeze. ]
We can.
[ Part of him wants to promise more, wants to say I'll stay as long as you're here and make sure Yuji knows he won't leave him. But it'd be foolish to promise that, especially when it might cause Yuji to stay longer than he wants to for fear of not being able to see Nanami again. No, it'd be like cursing him with his death all over again. ]
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The time he was able to spend with Nanami was so short, but the impact was so undeniable. He was shaped by the man holding on to him now, given strength but also broken down by his loss, knowing that he would carry the weight of that guilt for such a long time after. Nanami had told him that he had it, that he would carry things on, but Yuji's well aware of his failings in that regard; there's no way Nanami would've performed so poorly if their roles were reversed.
What this does mean, however, is that he has a chance to grow here. He's got a lot stronger since he last saw Nanami, he can't hide that, but he has further that he can go - and if he can get stronger than he can take it back and use it against Sukuna. He can use it to free Fushiguro and undo all the damage his survival has cost people. Work on the cursed energy he still has, work on his new techniques, make sure he's as powerful as possible before stepping back into the real world and leaving his happiness and joy behind him once again.
He might die, but he's prepared for that. He's been ready to die since the first moment.
Breathing out, soft and slow, Yuji lifts a hand to wipe at his face, pressing the heel of his palm into the corners of his eyes - conspicuously missing scarring, without Sukuna inside him. ]
I'll be happy, then. I want more time with you, Nanamin.
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But that isn't what it's like here, he's accepted that. Things are a bit easier, a bit safer. The world is less of a burden to carry. But that's also why he became so complacent and Yuji's arrival surprised him so. In a way, he needs this hug more than Yuji does, he thinks. ]
... Okay.
[ There is no reason for him to reject Yuji here. He has nothing but time here and if Yuji wants some of his, he doesn't see a reason not to offer it. It isn't like back home where there are too many things to do and his personal time is minimal and to be cherished. No, now his time is open, for himself, for Yuji, for anyone. ]