[ Yuji opens his mouth to scold, to say it's not the same thing, but he knows that would be a lie. He can't blame Nanami for things that were out of his control, so he should treat himself with the same kindness; he just doesn't. There's an awareness in him that he's stronger than people might have anticipated him being, and since he can recognise souls and their shape, it should've been easier for him to deal with Mahito to begin with. Having Sukuna to help stop him using his power...
Yuji was his natural enemy, but Mahito had been right, too. Yuji was also him, a mirror image, in human form. A creature who kills curses because it's natural for him, reflected in Mahito killing people. A murderer. So many people are dead now because he made a single vow with Sukuna - as if his life was a fair trade for what was lost.
It feels so easy, so natural to lean his hand into Nanami's touch, to rest his cheek on his palm and bask in the comfort of being taken care of, however briefly. For the last few weeks it's been him and Fushiguro, and then him and the others, preparing for a fight that they had been so sure they'd win, never having a moment to relax or let his emotions settle inside him. Having it now feels wrong, somehow, as if he should be forced to marinade in his own self-doubt, let the disgust he feels for himself take hold.
Swallowing, he sighs softly. ]
I can't tell you yet, Nanamin. I'm sorry, I'm - I'm not ready.
[ To admit to more of his own failings, to see Nanami's disappointed expression... There's no way he can deal with that right now. No way. ]
Please don't ask me. I can't.
[ Maybe later, when he's settled in - maybe later, when he doesn't feel as though he should be turning back and letting Sukuna do whatever he wants, crushing Yuji's body under his heel if it meant there was a single second of a chance to save Fushiguro. ]
no subject
Yuji was his natural enemy, but Mahito had been right, too. Yuji was also him, a mirror image, in human form. A creature who kills curses because it's natural for him, reflected in Mahito killing people. A murderer. So many people are dead now because he made a single vow with Sukuna - as if his life was a fair trade for what was lost.
It feels so easy, so natural to lean his hand into Nanami's touch, to rest his cheek on his palm and bask in the comfort of being taken care of, however briefly. For the last few weeks it's been him and Fushiguro, and then him and the others, preparing for a fight that they had been so sure they'd win, never having a moment to relax or let his emotions settle inside him. Having it now feels wrong, somehow, as if he should be forced to marinade in his own self-doubt, let the disgust he feels for himself take hold.
Swallowing, he sighs softly. ]
I can't tell you yet, Nanamin. I'm sorry, I'm - I'm not ready.
[ To admit to more of his own failings, to see Nanami's disappointed expression... There's no way he can deal with that right now. No way. ]
Please don't ask me. I can't.
[ Maybe later, when he's settled in - maybe later, when he doesn't feel as though he should be turning back and letting Sukuna do whatever he wants, crushing Yuji's body under his heel if it meant there was a single second of a chance to save Fushiguro. ]